Trashiest Literary Breakups

Okay, Valentine’s is over and it’s time to talk about the best breakups. I’m talking trash fire breakups that were fantastic and painful. Now, some of these couples do get back together, but the watching the dumpster fire happen was worth it.

Heads up that there will be lots of spoilers for the following series: Throne of Glass, A Court of Thorns and Roses, The Mortal Instruments, Daughter of Smoke & Bone, Wolfsong, Red Queen, The Folk of the Air and Twilight.

Epic Breakups

Chaol Westfall & Celaena Sardothien from Throne of Glass – Okay, we know I hate Chaol and this breakup is most of the reason why. He LET’S HER BEST FRIEND DIE. Like, he finds out Celaena is fae and gets so angry that he doesn’t warn her about the whole murder plot?! No. NEVER FORGIVEN.

So after Chaol ships her off on a boat, Celaena comes back with a hotter, more powerful guy with tats. All is fair…

Feyre Archeron & Tambitch from A Court of Thorns and Roses – He ignores her for everything other than sex and then TRAPS HER IN A HOUSE. She is going through severe PTSD and Tambitch locks her up like a doll.

So what does our girl do? She comes back and TEARS DOWN HIS HOUSE, dismantling his entire court. What now bro?

Jace Wayland & Clary Fray from The City of Bones – Talk about drama. Oh, maybe we should breakup since you are my sister and all? I think we all knew that they weren’t really brother and sister, but the creep factor is REAL in this one. Extremely trashy breakup.

Karou & Akiva from Daughter of Smoke & BoneNever break the wishbone people. Especially if it’s full of memories of your past life with your new boyfriend. Oh, and he kills your dad. It’s kinda hard to see past the crazy Akiva, when you MASSACRED MY FAMILY.

Joe & Ox from Wolfsong – Okay, this one is only trashy because Joe never calls Ox. He had every right to go avenge his family, but he can’t come back and expect his brand new boyfriend to not be a little bitter about the whole being left for a year and never calling thing…

Mare & Maven Calore from Red Queen – I wanted to bash on Cal, but honestly the twist at the end of book one where Maven turns on everyone is one for the ages. WE LOVED YOU! Seriously, i’m never getting over that. These two are the most dysfunctional relationship and I can’t get enough.

Jude and Cardan from Folk of the Air – Similar to the last, Cardan sleeps with Jude, marries her, and then ditches her in public and banishes her. It was quite spectacular actually. Honestly, I’m impressed.

Jacob & Bella from Twilight – Not only does Bella marry his mortal enemy, she INVITES HIM TO THE WEDDING. Classic. But, I think Jacob wins in an even creepier twist by imprinting on her infant daughter. Yuck. Just Yuck.

What is your favorite breakup? Let me know in the comments!


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