By: Karen Moning
Kiss of the Highlander at a Glance
- Overall Rating: ★★★★
- Dude: A walking lollipop
- Heroine: She has Rachel hair, of course she is awesome
- Steaminess: Who knew dressing rooms could be so sexy?
- Read when… You need a hot Scottish man in your life, but can’t handle Outlander level emotions
Pairs Well With
- Black coffee
- 1 shot of Scotch
Beware. Spoilers are coming…
This novel set in Scotland gives us one of our favorite, sexy, highlanders, Drustan. If you can’t handle the emotional devastation that Outlander causes then Moning’s highlander novels are perfect – you get the sexiness, brogue and time travel without the rape scenes and star-crossed lovers. Drustan is lovable despite his tendencies to doubt women’s intelligence and slut shame. And Gwen is hilarious and will always keep Drustan on his toes – especially in regards to bathrooms.
Things We Liked:
- Gwen locking Drustan in the bathroom: Drustan should have just stopped and had a conversation. Gwen is brilliant and I bow down to her. The best way to get someone to talk to you is clearly to lock them in the toilet and force them to listen! Whatever, it worked. #noregrets
- Gwen vs. Highlander Drustan: The whole section of the book where Gwen saunters around the castle in purple revealing clothes plotting to get Drustan’s attention KILLED me. When Drustan fell out the window naked and landed in a prickly bush trying to get away from her I was #dead.
- Drustan & Purple Trews: Drustan trying to convince Gwen to let him wear purple sweatpants had me rolling on the floor. Obviously every hot man needs purple sweatpants to create a solid wardrobe. Adorable.
- Silvan & Nell: These two were the ultimate partners in plotting crime and adorable together. I pictured Silvan as Dumbledore and it was amazing. They even got together in the end and made adorable babies. Although Dumbledore having babies is kind of weird… I digress.
- Drustan Trying To Figure Out the 21st Century: Drustan could not handle the 21st century, his fear of cars and telephone poles was endearing and when he thought he could just steal cinnamon from Starbucks, lawl. Gwen should have just let him take it.
- Beatrice: She was a hilarious dirty old lady and I needed that in my life. And her husbands weird outfits! #retirementgoals
Things We Disliked:
- Drustan Assuming Gwen Was Dumb & A Whore- Ugh, both highlander and modern Drustan automatically assumed Gwen lacked intelligence and was a whore. Drustan at one point basically says it’s okay to kidnap her because she’s alone. No.
- Gwen going on a mission to lose her virginity: This whole storyline had me wondering what on earth is wrong with us that people still feel like virginity is a commodity that they can buy, sell or barter. Why is there a timeline on this?!
- Drustan Not Telling Gwen He Was Kidnapping Her to The 16th Century: WTF man. First off he gives her this vague spell to save his memory in case of emergency but never tells her why or what its for. Dumb. Then just forces her to go back to the 16th century, a land without Starbucks or plumbing. No.
- Silvan and Nell Listening to Gwen’s Story: While Gwen is telling Drustan how he took her virginity, Nell and Silvan are listening and its gross. Then they run off and have sex. They basically watched their kid’s porn. Hard no.
- The condoms: First Gwen packs them (see earlier mission to lose virginity) then she completely forgets to use them, remembers that she forgot to use them and then continues to not use them. I. Don’t. Understand. Virginity is not an excuse to not protect yourself against a fucking stranger!
- Drustan Marrying Gwen Without Telling Her: Do I even need to verbalize why this isn’t okay? You can’t just marry someone without telling them!!!! Especially when you are about to kidnap the person through risky time traveling. Telling past Drustan to love her isn’t enough of a get out of jail free card here, Drustan.
- Calling anything “mating heat” Just… eww. Cue Jimmy Fallon gif.
“And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man’s intellect to kick in,”
“Never have I seen oaks so shamed!” – Drustan
“An object that’s at rest wants to stay at rest. I can’t be expected to overcome laws of nature. That’s why exercising is so difficult for me.” – Gwen
“You don’t need old folks like us around. You need a strapping young man to sweep you off your feet. And keep you off them for a good long while.”
Let us know what you thought of Kiss of the Highlander in the comments!