Rhapsodic (Escort service meets I Love Beads) | Book Review

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By: Laura Thalassa

Rhapsodic at a Glance

  • Overall Rating: 
  • Dude: Give us 322 beads now cuz we’d marry the shit out of Des too
  • Heroine: G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S
  • Steaminess: I swear officer, the car only fogged from talking
  • Brutal: Snow White + Sexual Assault x 1000

Pairs Well With

The Siren

  • 1 oz Lilac simple syrup
  • 1 dash rose water
  • 2 oz club soda
  • 2 oz vodka

     Beware. Spoilers are coming…


Jess’s Reactions

I think this book gave me everything I needed. Emotional instability, check. Bad boy with tattoos, check. Way too much rape? Wait a minute…

Callie is amazing because she reminds me of me. I’m no sexy siren lady, but I do have those attachment issues that she is dragging around.

“That’s wrong, right? To enjoy the fact that your boyfriend’s gone and you get time alone?”

She is funny and sassy, with some deep-seated emotional problems from when she was a kid. The difference between her and plenty of the heroines we have read lately is that Callie refuses to be a victim or be treated like one. She suffered horrible abuse as a teen and then again in the rape dungeon with the evil deer man. And yes, I am struggling with the fact that I just had to say evil deer man. So maybe she only has one friend and too much of an obsession with her ex, I’m still team Callie.

Eli… you can go to hell bro. And I say bro because you are a punk ass little bitch who doesn’t understand the word no. Being a wolf man gives you no right to practically force yourself on her when she told you no and asked you to leave a bunch of times. You deserved to be glamoured much more than you got so go sit in the corner and take a time out because you are not allowed to date women until you learn english.

“Ending a relationship is sad; I should feel sad, not…free”

Ok, Des, I love you. I can’t help myself. Ripped vintage t-shirts and tattoos. I’m done. I 100% understand and approve of Callie’s obsession.

“My heart is obviously an idiot”

I’m in denial about the ending of this one. I read it on the first go around, but skipped the last 20% on the reread. I couldn’t really deal with it for a second time, but Callie came through like a champ and the second book is already out for your enjoyment.

“Teach me again how to be someone’s nightmare.”


Teagan’s Reactions

Alright Thalassa, well played. I didn’t want to love the big, bad Des. Like Callie, I tried so hard to resist him but this guy is irresistible. Yeah, he’s slightly evil but he throws out lines like:

“‘No,’ he corrects, ‘she won’t be the lucky one. I’ll be.’”

And I have no choice but to turn into a pile of goo and find myself wishing I could say “Bargainer, I want to make a deal” and my own personal diabolical fairy will come wipe me off my feet. I respect that Des doesn’t belittle the traumatic experiences Callie has gone through but instead cuddles with her all night, kills those who harm her and helps her recover by saying things like:

“Cherub, people like us are not victims. We’re someone’s nightmare.”

Yasss, Des. Y’all plot your revenge and take down the evil rapist creating an army of psychotic children. I also respect that ultimately he isn’t afraid to talk about moments that might be perceived as “weak” by the toxic masculine masses out there. Des, my love, doesn’t have to be tough and pretend 7 years without Callie didn’t tear him apart and I loved it. Never change, Des.

“‘How did you feel, leaving me? I ask.’

He holds my gaze. ‘LIke my soul was ripped in two.’

….”And the seven years that followed?’ I breathed.

He stares at me, unwavering. ‘A nightmare.’’

Des adores every part of Callie and I adore every part of Des. Except that he didn’t cry when Dobby died. That’s inhuman. Everyone knows that’s one of the hardest moments in literary and cinematic history. (brb crying).

Let’s not forget my girl, Callie. This siren is a glamour-ous queen and when life knocks her down she kills the evil and vows to become their nightmare. Get it, girl. In another life I want to be a private investigator and embrace my inner Callie and put all my years of expert cyberstalking to good use. Callie also understands proper nutrition which I respect :

“I got us blueberry old fashioned and jelly filled [donuts]. Boom – fruit.”

I have a dream that one day rape won’t be a thing that I’m subjected to in books because we will eventually have a society where it’s not as prevalent an issue. And in the rare instance in which it does happen justice is swift and 15 year old girls don’t have to question if the justice system will protect them. I’m so tired of this crap.

I want a bestfriend like Temper. I hope the next books feature her taking on the world and kicking some serious ass. Girl gets it.


Let us know what you thought of Rhapsodic in the comments! 

Drink Up - Teagan & Jess

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